“Welcome to the Killer Elite, Mr. Centurie.”
“Why? Why are you bothering me?”
“Because, I’m having problems with one of your past incarnations, and I’m here to take it out on you.”
* * * * * * *
(1987)
In the week following my session with BJ, I gathered information in my mind about the pictures. I felt pain in my chest just before I started shaking. I thought about where that came from. When I thought about the chest pain, I felt the surges of stomach muscle spasms when I shook. It made me think of the surf pounding.
In the week following my session with BJ, I gathered information in my mind about the pictures. I felt pain in my chest just before I started shaking. I thought about where that came from. When I thought about the chest pain, I felt the surges of stomach muscle spasms when I shook. It made me think of the surf pounding.
When I got to BJ’s office the next week, I was ready to add more pieces to the picture puzzle. I told BJ that the pounding was how I envisioned intercourse. I wasn’t sure where that thought came from, but I knew it was connected to the pictures.
Talking to BJ, I began to feel the chest pain, then the stomach spasms, and then the pictures started to take on a life of their own. My face reflected the change, and BJ asked me what was going on.
“I just got the order of the pictures….I’ll tell you what it is.” A new surge of pain washed over me.
“Joceile, what happened?” BJ asked.
“More pain,” I gasped between spasms.
“You were going to tell me the order of the pictures.”
“Right….I’ll start.” Another stomach spasm hit me. “Number one…was the chest pain from his pushing me down.” I didn’t want to mention who “he” was. BJ knew and waited while I had another spasm before I could go on.
“Number two…,” my stomach tightened into a fist. “Was the knife he held at my throat…although why he needed it is beyond me…to add terror, I guess.”
“Number three…” I started shaking harder and couldn’t speak.
Eventually, BJ said, “you were going to tell me what the third one was.”
While I was shaking, I ranged around in my mind for some way to say it without saying it. It took me several tries, “and then he did the pounding,” after which several more waves of pain washed over me.
I heaved a big sigh between gasps. “Number four…was our hips…side by side.”
“Number five…was him yanking me up by my arm….Can I have a hug now?”
I moved closer to BJ to be held. I shook and tears rolled down my cheeks soundlessly. I could feel BJ’s arms tight around me. BJ spoke quietly, “Joceile, you just told me your father raped you….You told me the pounding was intercourse, but that’s not intercourse. That was rape.”
“Yeah, I guess I did,” I thought and kept shaking.