I got up and stretched. My back was hurting and had been for quite a while. Being a believer in metaphysics, I had yet to discern exactly what in my mind was manifesting itself in my back. I wasn’t too concerned, though. I knew it would come to me.
The adult me of 1986 lived an evolved life, a multi-faceted life. It was up to me to blend in the characters that had been created 14 years ago. I knew that one of them, most probably Sasifraz, was demanding attention that was hurting my back. I also knew that in a dream or in an image, just what was bothering old Sasifraz would come to me, and I would fix it.
Because, the me of 1986 was a fixer, a leader, and a planner. Having taken the lessons of 14 years ago and created from them a magic, both stronger and weaker, than the original parts.
* * * * * * *
(1972)
If Lucifer had had a crystal ball, he’d have known traveling with Jake would cause trouble. As it was, he narrowly escaped a drug charge.
Missing the opportunity of sharing Jake’s cell, he took it as a sign of providence that hitchhiking was not in his best interests. He turned and headed for home to face the music—notes of his destiny left unplayed.
* * * * * * *
The angels beckoned. The sun turned, and I fell…pulled in by Sasifraz. My younger sense of self suddenly lost. A giant hole in front of me. I reeled. Drug by some powerful force against my conscious will, I could only hope to ride out the tide.
Sasifraz, his need for power unmet, was training me to obey without question. I screamed. Sasifraz denied. The terror for me was unmatched. I prayed. I pleaded. Sasifraz had no need for compromise.
“You will do what I say, every time, without question, or you will get this every time,” and then he pushed me deeper for emphasis. I could not see. I could not hear. I could only feel the darkness and a fear that went on forever. I marked the moments, ticked off the seconds, hoping to hold onto some shred of my own being.
I felt that shred was maintained only at Sasifraz’s whim, and I was terrified of loosing it. “Remember J, you have no power. I am the boss. You will do exactly as I say. I am your King, your Ruler. You must NEVER disobey.” I assented. In fact, I had to believe it, because I could not trick someone that was in my mind. So, I obeyed and lived in fear that he would ask me to do something impossible. In which case, I would either lose myself or lose myself.
I felt that shred was maintained only at Sasifraz’s whim, and I was terrified of loosing it. “Remember J, you have no power. I am the boss. You will do exactly as I say. I am your King, your Ruler. You must NEVER disobey.” I assented. In fact, I had to believe it, because I could not trick someone that was in my mind. So, I obeyed and lived in fear that he would ask me to do something impossible. In which case, I would either lose myself or lose myself.