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Entry 1 (1972)

There are a thousand different ways of being. I knew that and yet occasionally wondered if maybe there really was only one right way. Bu...

Entry 6 (1972)

Alfer Centurie lived 150 years into J's future.  He lived on a different planet in a different solar system in a different galaxy.  His problem was that he was having nightmares that took place on the third planet of a small sun a back galaxy.

He was convinced that finding and identifying that planet would somehow help him to control his nightmares.  Without dealing with the content of his nightmares, he chose instead to focus on the planet in them.  In all his fantasies, it never occurred to him that finding the planet would only solve a small part of the problem.

Being a bit of a hermit, he seldom socialized.  When he did speak to a few friends, they had inklings that there was far more under the surface than what Alfer Centurie admitted.  He had good friends, though, so they waited patiently for him to discover it himself.

* * * * * * *

Long about Utah, Lucifer Christoferson met a guy named Jake.  They were traveling in about the same direction (south), so they started traveling together.  Both liked to travel slow.  They hung out in a town two or three days before moving on.  They liked to get the feeling of a town, occasionally, getting an odd job or two.

Basically, Lucifer liked Jake.  Jake was easy going and didn’t ask too much.  Their major difference, and Lucifer let it ride, was that Jake was into drugs.  Sometimes, it made Jake a great conversationalist.  Other times, it made him weird.  Lucifer just chose to ignore it for the most part, and Jake didn’t push him.

* * * * * * *

While drinking in a bar one night, Frobisher met a woman named Sally Lou.  Some people called her Sally, and some people called her Lou.  He wasn’t sure which one to call her, but he liked her.

Sally was nice to Frobisher.  She had reddish curly hair that she kept short.  She had a disarming smile and a great laugh.  She took a shine to Frobisher, and he was instantly in love.  Frobisher loved attention.

With no creativity around one in the morning, Frobisher invited her to his place.  Sally accepted.  They left.  Frobisher had one of the best times in recent memory.

* * * * * * *

In a similar pattern as before, I cut my arm again several days later.  Sasifraz did the ordering about, and I followed his direction.  The overall effect was to give me quite an emotional boost in life without dealing with the underlying concern that something was wrong.

About a month or so later, I chose to wear a short sleeved shirt to school on a day when I had a counseling appointment.  My cuts were fairly fresh and predictably my counselor noticed them.  Kantor, my counselor, asked me about my arm.  I hedged but eventually told her about the arm cutting, minus Sasifraz’s role.

I suppose she was concerned, but perhaps it was somewhat out of her jurisdiction.  The Parent was not notified.  Nevertheless, this event was heralded as my official entry into the land of Mental Illness at least as far as my counselor was concerned and any other innocent bystanders who happened to notice my arm.