The Killer Elite was a subsidiary of The Mark under the auspices of Sasifraz. They did some of the more mundane tasks as his bidding—simultaneously visiting the adult me and Alfer Centurie. Their purpose was to soften up Sasifraz’s intended victim before his arrival, so he could enjoy only the juiciest part of the job.
* * * * * * *
I knew there was another part to the five pictures. I knew it was worse. Although, I couldn’t imagine what worse could be.
One Sunday, I woke up with it preying on my mind. The answer that came to me was incredibly simple. What’s worse than being raped by your father? Having it happen several times. Oh, my stomach hurt. Of course, what’s worse than once? Many.
With that realization, I knew that the information was too much for me to tolerate. I could feel Sasifraz knocking on my mental door with the Killer Elite right behind him for moral support (as if he needed it). I had dared to face a truth which no one intended I ever face.
I was sick inside. I could feel I had only minutes before intense shaking set in. As was long habit, I knew that following shaking, Sasifraz would arrive and he would not be easy to dodge.
* * * * * * *
I made my way from my current partner’s bed to my own before the shaking set in. I called my friend, Rahne, to ask for help. Already, I could see the cut on my arm that Sasifraz had in mind. I knew I’d need a lot of help to avoid it.
Rahne arrived while I was still fairly lucid. Rahne had been through it once before during the night I came home from my counselor’s after describing the five pictures. I told her what I’d realized. Rahne held me while I shook.
When Sasifraz arrived, he came with a vengeance. “You remembered, and that was bad. But you told, and that is worse.”
“Sasifraz, I had to look at it. I had to tell.”
“No excuses, the punishment is to cut yourself NOW. The more you delay it, the worse it is.”
It was an old argument. Sasifraz intoning destruction. Me staving him off.
At some point, Sasifraz was so insistent that he took over my body. “Move now, you idiot. Do it NOW.” I had a fight within my own body.
Rahne, overhearing at least half of the conversation, helped me by holding me down. It was a struggle with Rahne practically laying on me to keep me from going after a razor blade or anything that Sasifraz would accept as a movement toward destruction.
* * * * * * *
Finally, Sasifraz and his band of renown, chanting destruction all around me, pulled back. I felt him withdraw. My body relaxed.
I looked at Rahne. Rahne asked me if I was okay and if Sasifraz was gone. I nodded, and we talked. Rahne wanted to know if the stages of shaking and Sasifraz were always the same. I said that I thought so. I said that it usually happened at night, and I fell asleep afterwards.
We were both starting to relax when a pained look crossed my face. “What is it?” Rahne asked.
“He’s coming back.”
“I thought you said that was it.”
“It usually is, but I guess I’ve broken a big rule this time,” I responded and started shaking again.
* * * * * * *
The cycle of shaking, Sasifraz’s visits, and physical struggles lasted the whole afternoon and into the evening. Several times, Rahne had to get assistance to hold me down. When I was clear again, I asked to be tied up so we wouldn’t have to struggle to contain me so much. That way, I didn’t have to worry about hurting anyone including myself.
Sasifraz took over my body and while struggling he had conversations with Rahne. “I’m going to kill her, and there’s nothing you can do about it. You’ll be gone, and I’ll still be here.”
“Oh, sure, go after someone that’s already down. How did someone hurt you, Sasifraz?” Rahne asked.
“No one ever hurt me. I do the hurting. There is nothing you can do to stop me.”
“That’s right, old kick-'em-while-they're-down Sasifraz.” Rahne had a knack for inflaming Sasifraz, and they kept struggling.
* * * * * * *
Late into the evening, Sasifraz realized that physical resistance was pointless. He stepped out of my body and mind to a kind of astral plane and started attacking me there.
“Joceile, what’s happening. What are you seeing?”
“Sasifraz, he’s on the other side of the room using every weapon he can think of against me.”
The astral Sasifraz pointed a gun at the astral me and fired. The astral me just let the bullet pass through. He picked up a bow and arrow. I let that pass through. He picked up a ray gun. The beam was warm. I let it pass through.
Sasifraz systematically used every weapon known on earth and a few that weren’t. Having no more pictures to torture me with, he had gone somewhat conventional.
“Joceile, what’s he doing now?” Rahne wanted to know.
“He’s using a nuclear bomb,” I supplied in a detached voice.
Sasifraz set the bomb off inside the astral me. The bomb mushroomed and built in intensity. I watched the ripples circle ever outward and waited. Several minutes went by, and Rahne wanted to know what was going on.
“I’m waiting for the nuclear bomb to pass through.”
“It’s taking a long time.”
I shrugged, “I guess they do.”
Waiting for the cloud to stop mushrooming, the fireball to stop expanding, the radiation to stop spreading, and the dust cloud to settle did take a long time. But, in the end, I looked down at my astral body to see it intact.
Sasifraz walked over to the left side of the bed where I lay. Rahne, trying to follow the drama, could see me look left, “What’s he doing now?”
“He’s cutting my arm, and I’m just letting him.” I watched Sasifraz cut my astral arm. He cut it everywhere.
“What’s happening to the blood?” Rahne wanted to know.
“It’s running over the bed…onto the floor…out the front door…and into the street.” It was entirely novel for me to just let it happen. For the first time, my psychic part realized Sasifraz could not really hurt me without my help.
“If Sasifraz wants the blood, have him fill a bucket with it.” Rahne’s suggestion suited me just fine.
“Ok, he went and got a bucket. He’s filling it…..It’s full now.”
“Well, tell him to get another one.” (Did I mention Rahne was a counselor in a different life?)
“Ok, he’s filled another one.”
“What’s he going to do with all that blood?” Rahne wanted the details.
Sasifraz had three buckets full of blood. I watched in fascination as he took them over to his own private blood waterfall and poured them over.
A blood waterfall was an amazing sight. “He added it to his blood waterfall.” I knew Sasifraz wanted the waterfall to flow forever. “Rahne, there isn’t enough blood in the whole world to keep his waterfall going,” I realized. “There’s no point in my adding to it any more.”
Sasifraz turned to look at me and withdrew again. But, none of his returns had as much power as before. As night drew near, he left.
I knew I had won the right to have the information I’d discovered and tell about it. I wished it meant Sasifraz would never return. After living with him for so many years, I doubted it was so.