“The Lonely Man.” In the pre-dawn years of what the younger me felt was another lifetime, Sasifraz, during kinder moments, had told me a story.
In Western, I wrote down the story and shared it with the staff. An intensely honest person, I simply could not say that I wrote it. I had to attribute it to the man in my head. (This could have been a clue for the staff.)
In a move characteristic of the staff, Carolyn coolly informed me that there was no man in my head and that, if it came from my mind, I wrote it. I tried to explain but finally shrugged my shoulders--resigned to Caroline’s intolerant resistance to other possibilities.
Never once did the staff follow up the story with a question. Although, I, or Sasifraz for that matter, could hardly have made the meaning more plain. I guess they attributed it to their belief that I was “just playing games.” Even though, that attitude gave me nearly no room to communicate at all. “Say it right or don’t say it,” seemed to be their motto. I didn’t say “it” any more.
* * * * * * *
The Lonely Man
A tall, gauntly man walked along the sidewalk with his head down. He walked slowly and wore a long black overcoat. He walked into a hotel on the corner and brought his head up to look around. The man went over to the manager and asked if he could rent a room for week. The manager said yes, and the man paid cash.
The manager led him up the stairs to the man’s room. When the manager was about to leave, the man said, “Now, don’t let anyone bother me. Make sure you leave me alone.” The manager said fine and left.
That night at about five o’clock, the man called for dinner. The manager brought dinner up and knocked on the door. The man took his dinner and then screamed at the manager, “Don’t bother me. Leave me alone. Make sure no one disturbs me.” Then, the man slammed the door and screamed, “Leave me alone.” The manager shrugged and went down the stairs.
The next morning the man called for breakfast and the manager brought up his breakfast. The man took his breakfast and then screamed at the manager, “Do not forget to leave me alone. I don’t want you or anyone bothering me.” Then, he slammed the door, and the manager left.
The same thing happened for lunch and dinner that day. By the end of the day, the manager was confused but not really mad. This went on for the next four days.
On the fifth day, the man again called for breakfast and screamed, “Leave me alone, I tell you.” Then, he slammed the door, and the manager dejectedly left. This happened for lunch and again for dinner, and then the manager was mad.
On the sixth morning, the man did not call for breakfast, and the manager wondered about him. He didn’t call for lunch either, and the manager thought maybe he should check on the man. However, he got busy, and by dinner he forgot and figured that the man was probably all right.
The seventh day came, and the man still hadn’t called for any food. The manager was concerned, but he forgot about the man during the course of the morning. At lunch, he called the police. They arrived, and the manager led them to the man’s room. They found him dead. He had committed suicide.
On the table, a note was found. It read:
Dear Manager,
I begged you to come and talk to me. But, you would not listen. You left me alone. Why didn’t you come to see me? You and all mankind will die alone in your own little worlds.
The Man