I spent alternate nights sleeping with Rahne at her house and at home with Adrian. The pressure of being around Leslie became more intense. I suggested we get counseling to make some decisions about co-parenting Adrian. Leslie agreed. I was wary.
We got a referral to Dr. Nan Stake. Dr. Stake was straight but came recommended by Rahne. Dr. Stake referred me back to Rahne not knowing the interrelations. “Ah, no,” I said over the phone looking at Rahne, “that wouldn’t be appropriate.”
I was after some sort of agreement with Leslie about sharing time with Adrian. I knew my position was precarious. I expected it to be a negotiation of the trickiest order.
(MAN, I HATE MEDIATIONS. WHO CAN EVEN STAND TO REMEMBER THE DETAILS? Not me.)
“Let’s start with what both of your expectations are....”
“Leslie, what kind of time sharing do you envision?”
“Oh, I feel 80% of Adrian’s time with me and 20% with Joceile.” I stiffened.
“Joceile?” asked Stake.
“I’m interested in maintaining our agreement and share Adrian 50/50.”
Stake said something about the need to find out where Joceile and Leslie were legally. I stiffened...
(You can’t use “stiffened” twice. She’s going to turn into a board. OKAY, SHE FROZE. Better.)
...I had met with an attorney and learned that because my brother was biologically Adrian’s father I could get one week-end every other week. I piped up and firmly stated, “I have met with an attorney. My rights are protected. But, that is not the way I want to resolve this.” I was relieved when Stake dropped the subject.
I had shared with Leslie copies of a parenting plan given to me by an attorney friend. But, Leslie was completely disinterested in nailing down details or committing to anything. After two mediations, Leslie refused to return, and I was left to my own devices.
* * * * * * *
“Leslie, we have to make some decisions about Adrian.”
“I’m just interested in staying here and having a good summer.”
A good summer, I fumed. I was being tortured and all Leslie wanted was a good summer.
“So, have you and Rahne had sex yet?”
“Yes,” I knew I shouldn’t answer.
“Well, how’s it going?”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, you always had trouble when we were together.”
“It’s going fine. You didn’t seem to care about sex when we were together.” Now, I stepped in it.
“Oh, it didn’t matter. I slept with others.”
With that, I was hooked. “Who?”
“Oh, Jet and others.”
I felt a burn of anger start in my chest. When I met her, Leslie was sleeping with a man, Jet, and two other women at the same time. She and I had a long standing agreement that we would not have affairs while together. “How long did you sleep with Jet?”
“Oh, often until after I was pregnant for awhile.”
“Who else?”
“Oh, I don’t think there’s any need to name names.”
I was caught like a fly in a spider web. Leslie walked outside as I burned up inside. Here I was giving my house to this woman that threatened to take my daughter. Who told me she had lied almost our entire relationship. And, just wanted to have a good summer. I followed Leslie outside.
“Okay, you win. You’ve got me. You wanted to hurt me, and you succeeded. Hit me right on target. A good shot. So, now I’m supposed to return in kind. You can’t stay here in this house and treat me this way. You have to move, and you have to be out by June 1st.”
Leslie sputtered, "But, you said….”
“Yes, I did, and now I’ve changed my mind.” The only problem, of course, was this was mid-April. How was I going to survive until June, and how was I going to survive after June?